The Last Book Signing?

I have never liked book signings. I just feel out of place. I don’t like to be the center of attention so they make me uncomfortable.

In addition to that, book signings make other people in the store uncomfortable. They don’t want to come over and talk to me because they feel like if they do they’re obligated to buy my book. If they walk away without buying it, isn’t that kind of like kicking me in the pants, insulting my mother, and spitting on my head? So instead of coming to talk to me, folks pretend to see something interesting on the other side of the store and head that way. I don’t blame them, I do the exact same thing when I’m the customer.

So I swore in my wrath (ok, it wasn’t wrath, as more of a blah feeling, but ‘swore while I was having a blah feeling’ doesn’t have the same ring to it as the wrath bit does), I swore in my wrath that I would never do another book signing. But then I got suckered into one. It’s BYU’s education week, and they are kind of fun. They are fun because any time I’m on BYU’s campus it’s kind of fun. I’m an Aggie, and I wear a beard, so I kind of feel like a rebel spy or something whenever I go down there. If I had enough time, I would have grown a mullet. Maybe shave a handlebar mustache or something.

But anyway, if you want to stop by, please do. I won’t make you buy a book. I won’t feel bad if you don’t buy a book. Honestly. I might give you a hug because you made eye contact, but that is the worst that will happen.

I will be in the BYU bookstore (I think that is where they put us) on August 22, from 11:00 until 1:00. Maybe I’ll have some door prize or something for everybody who stops by and called me a bearded heathen.