Cranky Old Freaks…

It is an older person’s right to be cranky. They’ve lived their life, they put up with crap, and now they get to kick back on a porch somewhere, wave their gnarled cane, and mutter. It’s a circle of life kind of thing. I fully support old people being cranky.

However, here in Logan we have a whole mess of ‘snow birds’ living in USU Housing. These snow birds are far more cranky than they need to be, and right now I’m thinking they should all pack their bags and just go home. Let me tell you two stories, both of them true, both happened to me and my wife.

We used to live in the trailer park on USU’s campus. My oldest son Spencer was 8 months old at the time. We’d gone over to do a bit of research in the computer lab. The married student computer lab. Where married students go, often with their small children. There were a bunch of these snow birds in the room, and my son Spencer was making gurgling noises. He wasn’t crying, he wasn’t yelling, he was making baby noises. An old woman suddenly got up, walked over to my wife, and said, “I’m sorry, all of us here in this room have already raised our children, and we don’t really want to have to listen to yours”.

No, I kid you not, that is exactly what she said. I wanted to smack her, but refrained.

Fast forward to yesterday. My wife is on the bus with our kids, and is holding our 18 month old son. He’s on the bus, he’s seeing new things out the window so he is pointing and ‘talking’ to my wife. He is not crying, he is not screaming, but he is also not talking in a hushed whisper.

Well, at one stop, an oranged-hair snowbird gets up to get off the bus. She walks over to my wife and puts her face right into my son’s face. My wife thought she was going to make cute goo goo noises at him.

Instead she screams right into his face. That’s right, she screams at him. No words, just a cranky, brainless bellow. Then she throws my wife a dirty look, and gets off the bus.

I tell you what, in my youth I was able to refrain. But I think now I’m old enough, and cranky enough, to start slapping.

So, if you’re a snowbird, living in Logan, watch out. Some of us locals are cranky too.

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3 Responses to Cranky Old Freaks…

  1. Al says:

    The only thing I find happy about that story is that the snowbird was on a bus, which means she wasn’t driving, which means one less crash-causing, dive-me-nuts, Arizona Raisin on the road… can’t count how many times I’ve almost been ran over on my scooter and look at the license plate and it’s an AZ plate with a “My Grandkids are smarter than yours” plate holder.

  2. Katie says:

    I don’t miss the snowbirds at all. Paul hated dealing with them at Wells Fargo last summer. He called them the snow rats. :)

  3. Amber Lynn Smith says:

    Amen brother! I ran into one in the grocery store (well actually my son did). He accidentally stepped on her shoe and she glared at me and said, “He just stepped on my shoe!” Then she bent down and began wiping it off like he might have given her the black plague. Honestly, I was too surpised for a comeback.

    BTW, I just finished reading Chickens. It’s hilarious.

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